Originally referred to as “walkaway wife syndrome” this is a phenomenon that has been on the rise in recent years.
The term is now more commonly referred to as “neglected spouse syndrome” but the original description is descriptive from the point of view of the husband or other spouse being caught off guard by a sudden divorce filing. As you might imagine, the warning signs of this phenomenon are almost always visible well before the actual divorce filing. So what causes this phenomenon and how can you save your marriage? We’ll explore these and other questions.
What is Walkaway Wife Syndrome?
Walkaway wife syndrome is an informal term used to describe a situation where a wife suddenly leaves her husband or files for divorce, often taking the husband by surprise. The term highlights the husband’s perception that the decision came out of nowhere, though, in reality, the wife may have been feeling unhappy or dissatisfied in the marriage for a long time.
Walkaway spouse syndrome can be characterized by several factors, which include:
Lack of communication
The spouse may have tried to communicate their feelings and needs in the relationship, but felt unheard or dismissed by the other spouse.
Accumulation of problems or issues
Over time, unresolved conflicts and unmet emotional needs can build up, leading the spouse to feel hopeless about the possibility of change.
Emotional withdrawal
Before physically leaving, the walkaway spouse may emotionally withdraw from the relationship, becoming less engaged and more distant.
Perception of suddenness
From the other spouse’s perspective, the decision to leave may seem sudden and unexpected because they were unaware of the depth of their spouse’s unhappiness.
Desire for change
The walkaway spouse often leaves in a bid to seek a better life, believing that the marriage cannot be repaired or improved.
Why Walkaway Spouse Syndrome is on the Rise
There are many different factors that have led to an increase in the number of marriages impacted by walkaway spouse syndrome. Many of these are modern phenomena that weren’t present in marriages or society, and the majority can be addressed before a divorce is filed.
Increased awareness of emotional needs
Modern society places greater emphasis on emotional fulfillment and mental health. Spouses, specifically women, today are more aware of their emotional needs and are less willing to stay in unfulfilling marriages.
Economic independence
More women are financially independent than in previous generations, giving them the means and confidence to leave unsatisfactory marriages without fearing economic instability.
Changing social norms
Not only is divorce more acceptable in today’s society, there has been an increased emphasis on concepts such as self care. Society is more accepting of the idea that leaving a marriage can be a positive step towards personal happiness and growth.
Higher expectations of marriages
Expectations for marriage have evolved. Many people now seek not just companionship but also emotional support, intellectual stimulation, and personal growth from their partners. When these expectations are not met, dissatisfaction can lead to separation.
Delayed recognition of problems
Many spouses, specifically men, may not recognize or address marital issues promptly, leading to a buildup of unresolved conflicts and dissatisfaction. By the time they realize the severity of the problem, their wives or spouses may have already decided to leave.
Improved access to support systems and resources
People have better access to support networks, including friends, family, and professional counseling, which can provide the emotional and practical support needed to leave a marriage.
Focus on self-development
There is a growing cultural emphasis on self-development and personal happiness. This can lead individuals to reassess their relationships and make decisions that prioritize their own well-being.
How to Fix Walkaway Wife Syndrome
As we have discussed, there are many early warning signs of walkaway spouse syndrome. Given this, there are steps that can be taken to improve the situation and help save a marriage.
Improved communication
One often neglected side of communication is listening. We’re encouraged as a society to speak our truth but if our spouses are doing this and we’re not listening, then the communication is truly a one-way street.
Actions speak louder than words
This old adage is not just empty wisdom. If you are listening to your spouse, then act to help create a more fulfilling marriage. If your spouse says they miss going out, plan a date night. If your spouse feels like you’re not communicating well, set aside time to discuss life and other matters they find important.
Pay close attention
Evaluate various aspects of your marriage. Think about how things may have changed over time and determine if those changes have increased happiness in your marriage. If not, look for ways to help create the happiness you’re both missing. Look for signs of emotional withdrawal and work to be more emotionally invested.