Does It Matter Who Files For Divorce First?

If you’re considering divorce, you may be wondering if it matters who files for divorce first in Michigan.

It’s a question that many people wrestle with, especially if you sense that the decision to end your marriage is looming. While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, there are a few important considerations that might influence your choice.

1. The “Race to the Courthouse” Myth

Despite what you might have heard, Michigan courts generally don’t give preferential treatment based on who files first. Your judge is far more concerned about the substance of your case—issues like property division, child custody, spousal support—than which of you got the paperwork in first. So, if your main concern is whether a judge will view you more favorably, the simple act of filing first typically won’t provide that advantage.

2. Setting the Tone for the Proceedings

When you’re the one to file, you essentially set the litigation in motion. This can give you some control over the initial framing of the case. For example, you’ll draft and present the Complaint for Divorce, which outlines the grounds (in Michigan, typically “irreconcilable differences”), and you may propose certain arrangements for custody, support, or asset division in your initial filings. While it doesn’t guarantee you’ll get everything you ask for, it does establish a baseline from which negotiations and court decisions start.

Does it matter who files for divorce first in Michigan

3. Staying on Top of the Divorce Process

Filing first can help you feel more organized and prepared. By initiating the divorce, you’ll be able to:

  • Gather your financial documents early and have them ready.
  • Consult with a divorce attorney and map out a strategy.
  • Potentially secure temporary orders (for support or custody) if immediate protection or clarity is needed.

This can offer a psychological advantage. Being proactive can help you maintain some sense of control, which can reduce stress during a tumultuous time.

4. Knowledge Is Power In Divorce Cases

Another reason you might consider filing first is simply to avoid being caught off guard. If you suspect that your spouse may file soon, you could find yourself scrambling to collect documents and figure out living arrangements at the last minute. By taking action, you give yourself time to discuss critical issues—like property division or short-term custody schedules—with your attorney. You also start the divorce on your timetable, rather than reacting to your spouse’s deadlines.

5. Timing and Residency Requirements

In Michigan, at least one spouse must reside in the state for 180 days before filing for divorce. Additionally, you must live in the county where you’re filing for at least 10 days (with some exceptions). If you’re planning to move or suspect your spouse might move, consider how those actions may affect your ability to file promptly. Filing first, when you clearly meet residency requirements, can be a strategic move to ensure your case is heard in the county that’s most convenient or advantageous for you.

6. Psychological Factors for You and Your Spouse

Choosing to file first may give you a psychological boost, but it can also escalate conflict if your spouse isn’t expecting it. If open communication is still possible, you might benefit from discussing the possibility of a cooperative divorce approach—like mediation—before rushing to file. On the other hand, if there’s a history of abuse or manipulation, filing first can help you secure necessary protections, such as a Personal Protection Order (PPO), and ensure your well-being is safeguarded from the start.

7. Cost Considerations

The person who files for divorce typically pays the initial filing fee. You might also bear the costs of serving the papers to your spouse. Although these costs are not insignificant, they usually don’t outweigh the broader financial decisions that come up during property division and support negotiations. Ultimately, divorce will involve expenses on both sides, whether you file first or not.

8. Consult with a Divorce Attorney

Every divorce situation is unique. If you’re on the fence about whether or not to file first, consult with a qualified Michigan divorce attorney. You’ll get personalized advice based on your goals, your financial picture, and the dynamics of your relationship. An attorney can help you weigh the pros and cons, including the potential impact on child custody, asset division, and spousal support.

While being the first to file doesn’t automatically grant you any legal upper hand in Michigan, it can offer strategic and psychological benefits. It may help you stay organized, secure temporary court orders, and direct the pace of the proceedings. Ultimately, your circumstances—whether it’s concern over your spouse’s intentions, the need for immediate relief, or the desire to control the narrative—will guide your decision.

If you’re considering a divorce, prioritize what’s best for you and your family. Seek professional legal counsel to ensure you understand all your options and the potential consequences of filing first. By taking this step, you can begin the divorce process on solid footing and move toward the next chapter of your life with greater confidence.

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