Michigan child custody cases become more complicated when dealing with a narcissistic parent. Derek Jacques sat down with the Narcissistic Abuse Rehab podcast to provide advice on how to deal with a narcissist in a child custody case.
Being married to a narcissist is deflating and dangerous. When the couple has children, it can become even more so. Derek Jacques discusses the best ways to deal with your narcissistic ex spouse in your Michigan child custody case.
What Is Narcissism?
First, let’s discuss what narcissism is and isn’t. Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. The ‘others’ can be a spouse, friends, or even the narcissists own children. Based on this, it is obvious why dealing with a narcissist in a divorce or custody battle is so difficult.
Individuals with narcissistic traits often have an inflated sense of their own abilities and achievements. They believe they are special and unique, and they constantly seek validation and praise from others. They have a strong desire for admiration and may engage in self-promotion and attention-seeking behaviors to gain attention and recognition.
Narcissists tend to have a sense of entitlement and expect special treatment from others. They may exploit or take advantage of others to meet their own needs. They often lack empathy and struggle to understand or connect with the emotions and experiences of others. Their relationships are often superficial and transactional, as they view others primarily as a means to meet their own needs.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum, ranging from mild narcissistic traits to a diagnosable personality disorder called narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). NPD is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, causing significant distress and impairment in various areas of life.
It is important to keep in mind that not all self-centered or self-confident individuals are narcissists. A diagnosis of NPD or the presence of narcissistic traits requires a comprehensive evaluation by a qualified mental health professional.
Is Your Child’s Other Parent a Narcissist?
Based on the definition above, you might conclude that you are indeed dealing with a narcissist. It is important to follow expert advice when dealing with someone with NPD, as it can spiral into an abusive situation for both you and your children.
The team at Narcissistic Abuse Rehab provides coaching, counseling and other resources to assist those in the throes of an abusive relationship with a narcissist. Derek Jacques is recognized for his compassionate approach to helping victims in narcissistic marriages divorce their abusers and set themselves up for success. So it was fitting that the NAR podcast invited Derek on to discuss navigating child custody cases where one parent is a narcissist.
Some of the signs that your child’s other parent is a narcissist include gaslighting, victim blaming, and an excessive sense of entitlement, which will often lead to the narcissist attempting to use the child or children as pawns to get their way. This and other topics were discussed on the podcast.
Narcissists Will Use Different Tactics To Get Their Way
One of the most common tactics used by narcissists in child custody cases in Michigan is the DARVO tactic. This stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender. In other words, the narcissist will deny any wrongdoing, attack the victim of their abuse, and then claim victim status, putting the blame on the other parent.
Derek highlights that in these situations, the abuser will often make false or misleading claims, and this can lead to the courts looking at the situation in a “he-said, she-said” manner, when the truth is that one parent is an abuser while the other is a victim. This is why it is crucial to hire an attorney that understands NPD and will fight for your rights and your children.